Electricity and Lust

Oh, Orson, you lush

2006-03-08T20:01:00.000-08:00

This is the funniest thing I've seen all day:

Orson Welles Wine Ad

The French!

The Latest Hollywood Diet

2006-03-08T19:25:00.000-08:00

Diets used to be way more funny:

Ayds Diet

I hear it works!

Hairy Lobster

2006-03-08T17:42:00.000-08:00

Apparently a new species of lobster has been discovered. It has hair.

Loster Article on CNN

Fuck you, creationists.

In other news, I predict that in the near future a new jam band will take "Hairy Lobster" as its name. They will open for "Leftover Salmon" and one day... die alone.

The Grand Conspiracy, Part Two

2006-03-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

More evidence as to the utter hilarity of life, better sit down for this one.

So I was talking to my homeboy Tim the other day on AIM and his icon was a character from this weird early-ninties sitcom called "Dinosaurs." Here's the wikipedia link and a cast photo:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinosaurs_(television_series)

I don't know if you remember it, but it was on when we were growing up. All the actors wore giant rubber dinosaurs suits and it was so, so, so, so weird. And wonderful in ways I'll never understand.

They don't make shows like Dinosaurs any more, for whatever reason. Most of the plots involved the baby dinosaur hitting the father dinosaur on the head with a frying pan. Solid-gold television programming, to be sure--the very apex of comedy.

So anyway, we were wondering if it was out on DVD, and it turns out it is:

I was reading user comments (turns out the show had a pretty solid cult following) and when I got to the bottom of the screen I noticed this:

If you're thinking "wait a second... is that?" the answer is yes, it is. The mom from Dinosaurs is also the mom from Arrested Development. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Dinosaurs era Jessica Walter:

And today's Arrested Development Jessica Walter:

It's safe to say that Mrs. Walter is moving up in the world. Congrats, Jessica, and god bless.

This unraveling the mysteries of life business is getting pretty intense already. Time for a nap.

The Grand Conspiracy, Part One

2006-03-08T16:01:00.000-08:00

Every day of my life I feel as though I am delving ever deeper into madness itself, further unraveling the grand conspiracy and discovering more and more evidence pointing toward a singularly unbelievible and yet undeniable fact: the world is fucking hilarious, capital H style.

First piece of evidence:
Brian Eno looks exactly like that one fucking elf in the Lord of the Rings.

Tell me I'm wrong bitches--

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Seriously! What the fuck?! They look identical! If god is real, he is laughing his ass off.

More to come. I don't know what I'm going to find by following this trail of breadcrumbs, but I'm pretty sure it's the secret baby JFK had created in a lab run by the Illuminati.

Is this thing on?

2006-03-05T00:02:00.000-08:00

Testing testing one two three testing